clearly...

[warning]this is one of THOSE blogs..so yeah..[/warning]

[originally written 8/30/09]

i'm not clairvoyant to any degree. nor am i a prophetess or anything like that. however, i'm observant...apparently to a fault. anyway, God not only blessed me with the gift of sight..but with a gift of insight. as if natural sight isn't gift enough. i'm not complaining, but reality is a beast. being in complete knowledge of someone or something, outside of normal observation and study tends to wear on the emotions and the brain. the QUESTIONS i have..


wait..did i lose you?


to consolidate all that: i tend to see past what i know. the hardest place to apply this insight though, is to myself. in all honesty, not too many people can take being honest with themselves. it's so necessary though. you can't possibly be honest with Mama, Granny, Pastor, cousins, your significant other..the LORD without being honest with yourself. i personally don't like lying to myself. i can understand if i was wrong about something, and someone who's opinion i both trust or value OR the Lord Himself corrects me..BOOM. that's totally understandable. but knowingly lying to myself is inexcusable.


now..i said AAAAAAAAALL that to say this..


i applied some brutally honest insight to my life a few days ago. i almost cried. as i mentioned earlier, i'm not clairvoyant. but i know God has a set path for me in life. i was called out from BIRTH. (another blog for another day) so, i had to change stuff IMMEDIATELY. i'm usually very careful about who & what i allow into my circle. i'm nobody special, but i'm a firm believer in guarding my spirit and monitoring my influences. i really started putting stuff in perspective about ME. my questions to myself: who am i to even consider compromising Jesus for what i want to do? who am i to even deserve for Him to map my life/direct my path the way He has/does? who am i to be granted the gift of waking up day after day to turn around and consider trying to do what i want? what the HECK? i also thought about the scripture in Psalm 19 (and it reads): cleanse Thou me from secret faults.

you know..secret faults..the stuff we don't want anyone to know about? yeah..those. and let the record show..faults aren't sins. a fault is a flaw or imperfection. sin is blatant or deliberate violation of moral/religious law. anyway, more and more i'm realizing..my purpose, your purpose, everybody's purpose is so much greater than YOU or ME. i invite you to NOT let down on what you KNOW is the truth and what you KNOW is right. you could very well jeopardize your purpose, then life would be a waste. DWYL.


i'll say..i had some second thoughts about posting this, because of the opening of the up. i was tripping.

& contrary to what may be perceived, this one is directed at everyone and no one.

impromptu is always the best....tu. :/

forgive me for that title..

anyway..i posted a status update on Facebook that simply read:

"imperfect but in possession of the Perfecter life is a lesson love is a lecture Jesus Christ, the professor"

sidebar - it really sounds GREAT if you say it with a British accent like Dwayne Tryumf...(don't look at me like that..)


so..i just posted it. no particular reason..but it was on my heart & mind..stemming from Bible study earlier yesterday evening. however, the result of it was NUTS. i'm copying all the comments that ensued from this one little status.












my bad for it being so small..
can you see it?

just got reminded.

hope my bro Louis doesn't think i'm cheating on him. lol!


a month or so ago, my homegirl Liz & i did a freestyle on twitter. she posted it to her blog, and i just read back over it today. i wanna share it with you.

Liz in bold
me in uh..regular..

make sure you check Liz's blog out too: 2much2tell


it's time for rhythm and rhymes
the rivers of lines flowing through this mental of mine
in need of cerebral release to cause the madness to cease
peace is a must let me grab a pen because it's poetry or bust
i fight for the right to write, moving my pen through all hours of the night
what a plight this gift of words turn bringing thoughts to life with the verbs
action words for what i feel, words to action to turn feelings into real
reveal the innermost unspoken thoughts inhibitions ignored pop open faults
just to let go, let words flow, let emotions show, let momentum grow
not to mention that you just might blow adjust the gears just so to get that just right flow
words flow to stanza and stanza to verse, verse leads to the mic unfiltered and unrehearsed
verse after verse gets sprinkled on their minds Ms Who brought the new and put a wrinkle in their time
creased their foreheads with her very essence, gave them sight with her luminesence
insight from her life lessons that stressin was too depressin and just wakin up was a blessin
she was livin in heaven while she walked the earth, blessed and highly favored since birth
but life can hurt..the work can be a bit much can leave the spirit fragile to the touch
a wounded heart is a heavy burden to carry, and the state of merriment tends to vary
and "friends" are scary..family can be worse but we have a Savior who carries cares and wrote His love in a verse
He lived that love and died to redeem, He rose because even over death He offered us victory
He's stricken me with His grace and mercy everlasting I'm forever dwelling in the shadow that the cross is casting

encouragement...i hope..

wow.

the poem i recently posted entitled "hope" is now posted on FaithTalk Ministries. i'm completely honored. :)

'hope' on FaithTalk

follow FaithTalk on twitter.

if you've ever been to an open mic.

hope.

so with all that's going on in the world
this girl
sought a beacon of light
reached for insight
to be granted a word
to share with the people
while our debt is gettin deeper
cost of life's gettin steeper
well when all else fails
hope is a keeper
a simple 4 letter word
that calms worries unheard
both a noun and a verb
peace when things get absurd
deemed a silly concept
by those extra serious cats
but how mysterious that
hope floats
like a well built boat
withstanding the waves and tides of trials
can't see for miles
but something inside you pushes you into another day
maybe sunshine will come another way
eyes to the sky cause we're hopeful
knowing one day we'll be granted what we hoped for
no more LESS talk let's speak MORE
share hope with your brother
speak peace with each other
and watch your vision reach a little bit further

(c)2008 kezia s.

you're needed.

watch this.




IgniterMedia.com
Igniter Media's Youtube
Igniter Media's twitter

renewed.

just got in from Sheri Jones-Moffett's album release..
MURDER. Sheri killed tonight.
i need you to cop that album now.
no brown-nosing. no riding. it just is.
it came out today (#1 gospel album today).
available on itunes & major retailers.
check the snippet vid, then log onto itunes and BUY.










aaaaaaaaaaaaand guess who came to my city??



and we ate



and had a blast!!!!

k..i'm sleepy..

P.S. - i feel like i should work on some sort of goodbye. you know how Robin Leach said "champagne wishes & caviar dreams" at the end of Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous or Mr. Spock said "Live long & prosper" after the Vulcan salute or how B. Scott calls everybody love muffins............wait...scratch that last one. ANYWAY, yeah..i'm working on a goodbye..something really memorable. in the meantime though..i'm going to bed.

laugh with me today.

only because i love ya. :)

unityfest.

Lord knows i'm as tired as an old boot..

i should really start investing in sleep. it really helps you move about your day without falling flat on your face.

i went to sleep at 4 a.m., woke up at 9:27 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep..ugh. anyway, enough about my deprivation..on with the deets!


unityfest was AMAZING. i was attempting to text Twitter with updates. they never made it to my account. w(h)ack. doesn't take away from the experience though. refreshing kingdom music. HUGE turnout. a sincere sense of community among the artists. (yo..we were going IN in the artists room..the energy was electric!) God moved like crazy. Blessed to do some networking and make some connects..praying that they're fruitful. i'm still floored that i was able to talk to/experience Kirk Whalum in all his awesomeness. this man is THE coolest dude in life. super chill & down to earth. Leon Timbo...smh..he's my bro anyway..but the guy never ceases to amaze me. Phil Hughley..supercool & down-to-earth..funny as jaxx. yo his group Hughley has a next level sound you gotta check out. i'm posting links for all these folks. man..Adajyo..sweethearts who will sing you smooth into the rapture. X-Min..one of the baddest bands in the land! there were so many more that performed, but i honestly wasn't able to catch everyone. pics coming soon on my FB and maybe myspace. lmbo. funny how myspace is a maybe these days, but FB & twitter are definites.

yo..can i just say? i did NOT know this was an outdoor event. it was at least 6,472 degrees in memphis today. i was struggling man.

*update: pics are posted on my FB*


links:

http://www.kirkwhalum.com
http://www.myspace.com/adajyo
http://www.myspace.com/hughleymusic
http://www.leontimbo.com
http://www.myspace.com/xminproductions
http://www.myspace.com/thezephaniahshow

alright ya'll..i'm struggling to keep the lids functional..
be blessed

where i'll be today.

tooth grinding.

i don't get mad.

sounds far-fetched..but it's absolutely valid. how is it possible? practice i guess. plus, i'm super analytical. so, i'll analyze & break a situation down before throwing a spoiled-rotten 4 year old in the middle of Toys R Us brand fit about anything. but wednesday morning, i discovered some grave news that almost made me drop my cool as a cucumber demeanor. my hard drive of 8 months (count em..EIGHT months) decided to go on to that big refurbished bin in the manufactured sky. my feelings were (and still are) HURT. all the documents, pictures, songs, poems..everything..GONE.




::commercial break::




::and we're back::

after shedding REAL funeral tears, i contacted HP..thank God i'm still under warranty. they overnighted me a new HD & a recovery disc. it's like having a brand new lappy again..minus all my STUFF. so now..i'm starting from scratch..treading very lightly and trying to dig into my memory regarding songs, poems and the like. also investing in some external memory VERY soon. that's all..


P.S. on 8.6.09, Twitter & FB basically DIED for a few hours. what's THAT about? will it happen again? it's horrifying to think about..

check out ROOTmag.

go..like now.
ROOTmagazine

divine revelation.

yo.

so i'm e-chattin it up with my homegirl, and well..just read..


kezia: yeah..i gotta pick up these businesses again yo..

kezia: i've had nothing but time..smh

Nia: So ur self-emplyed?

kezia: lol..that's a way to put it

Nia: U create ur own income?

kezia: try to..will be able to more with this ind contractor position at ********

Nia: O ok

kezia: but uh yeah..photography..flyer design..songwriting (working on something now for a potential SA client)..Christian t-shirt company..npo..

kezia: yeah

Nia: Cool stuf

Nia: Ima need a photography for my book release lol no tym soon but I will let u kno

kezia: for sure..letteth me know

Nia: I willeth

kezia: lol............eth

Nia: Ryt lol

kezia: wow..you just made me realize something

Nia: ?

kezia: i've been perfectly positioned to pursue my dreams

Nia: How'd I make u do that?

kezia: when I was tellin you all that stuff that I'm involved in

kezia: I just realized..

kezia: man..

kezia: let the catching up BEGIN. smh @ myself

Nia: Cool

kezia: thank ya for being an ear

kezia: or an eye..lol

Nia: Idk wat I did...but no prob

kezia: just bein there..HUSH.


God has placed me where i can actively pursue my purpose, goals & dreams. you know how you feel like there are certain things you need to get to where you want to go? well..when it's something from your bare hands..i don't know if that's always true. like..if you want a Chipotle franchise, then yeahhhh..you'd better have that upfront money. but most dreams have an extremely grassroots foundation. like..whomever had to start SOMEWHERE..which is where i am now. not patting myself on the back..but God has given me some business-savvy and a researcher's heart..and i'm blessed to have created a foundation for the businesses He gave me. i ran into (what seemed like) some unfortunate circumstances September of last year, and i thought it was over. everything came to a screeching halt and i lost focus. but the focus and drive has been sprinkled with spiritual steroids. WORD: life's full of pop quizzes..what we have to study is the Word, our own wisdom/common sense and the lessons from the slip-ups of others. even with those study guides, we still might not always pass. however, opportunities present themselves constantly. whether we open the door to them is up to us. i've been handed the key to my doors.


check out the homegirl, nia @ http://p3nplace.blogspot.com/

so, this is the first one..

how do you introduce randomness?

i dunno.

i will say this though. um..i'm a grammatical fiend. i despise MYSELF when i make spelling & grammatical errors and will completely spazz if i discover i have. someone called me a perfectionist. i'm beginning to believe them. anyway, aside from random spurts of slangitude or abbreviation, i'll most likely be using correct english. in addition, i will probably never (unless by human error) use uppercase i (i.e. - "I"). why? uh..guess you could say i don't consider myself that much of a big deal. so..there you have it. also, i write exactly the way i talk. so when you see (...) that means i've actually paused..lol. i use the words "uh" or "um" in writing because uh..i say them a lot. there are reasons for that..lol. i'm very interactive and communicative..so if you comment my blog..even if i don't know..i'm gonna hit you up and speak. same way on twitter, FB & myspace. that's how i am.

as far as what this blog will entail..uh..probably stuff about my good ole Savior, ministry, what i'm doing, what i like, transferred twitter convos, FB status convos, youtubes worth sharing and other stuff. and i'll be honest, having blog followers will probably push me to update on a regular basis. lol. i'm just saying.