clearly...

[warning]this is one of THOSE blogs..so yeah..[/warning]

[originally written 8/30/09]

i'm not clairvoyant to any degree. nor am i a prophetess or anything like that. however, i'm observant...apparently to a fault. anyway, God not only blessed me with the gift of sight..but with a gift of insight. as if natural sight isn't gift enough. i'm not complaining, but reality is a beast. being in complete knowledge of someone or something, outside of normal observation and study tends to wear on the emotions and the brain. the QUESTIONS i have..


wait..did i lose you?


to consolidate all that: i tend to see past what i know. the hardest place to apply this insight though, is to myself. in all honesty, not too many people can take being honest with themselves. it's so necessary though. you can't possibly be honest with Mama, Granny, Pastor, cousins, your significant other..the LORD without being honest with yourself. i personally don't like lying to myself. i can understand if i was wrong about something, and someone who's opinion i both trust or value OR the Lord Himself corrects me..BOOM. that's totally understandable. but knowingly lying to myself is inexcusable.


now..i said AAAAAAAAALL that to say this..


i applied some brutally honest insight to my life a few days ago. i almost cried. as i mentioned earlier, i'm not clairvoyant. but i know God has a set path for me in life. i was called out from BIRTH. (another blog for another day) so, i had to change stuff IMMEDIATELY. i'm usually very careful about who & what i allow into my circle. i'm nobody special, but i'm a firm believer in guarding my spirit and monitoring my influences. i really started putting stuff in perspective about ME. my questions to myself: who am i to even consider compromising Jesus for what i want to do? who am i to even deserve for Him to map my life/direct my path the way He has/does? who am i to be granted the gift of waking up day after day to turn around and consider trying to do what i want? what the HECK? i also thought about the scripture in Psalm 19 (and it reads): cleanse Thou me from secret faults.

you know..secret faults..the stuff we don't want anyone to know about? yeah..those. and let the record show..faults aren't sins. a fault is a flaw or imperfection. sin is blatant or deliberate violation of moral/religious law. anyway, more and more i'm realizing..my purpose, your purpose, everybody's purpose is so much greater than YOU or ME. i invite you to NOT let down on what you KNOW is the truth and what you KNOW is right. you could very well jeopardize your purpose, then life would be a waste. DWYL.


i'll say..i had some second thoughts about posting this, because of the opening of the up. i was tripping.

& contrary to what may be perceived, this one is directed at everyone and no one.